Grandmother's Last Breath

Friday, 29th May 2015, My aunt was informed from her brother that the service starts at 7:30pm. We left the house at 4pm. My family and I took 2 buses to My Father's Home Sanctuary (the Nursing Home's Church). It was raining heavily when we waited for the bus. After 2 long hours of wait (by the time our shoes, pants and bags we wet) the bus finally came. After that we need to walk for 20 minutes with our umbrella. The road was full of puddle. Our shoes was drenched. We finally arrived at the Sanctuary. We untied our shoes at kept it aside. The moment we step in, we saw a white coffin with grandma's picture frame on the coffin. Beside it there was a small opening to view her upper body. We came closer and took a look inside. There was a transparent glass covering the opening. Our hearts was overwhelmed. She was resting as though asleep. I kept saying to myself, she is fine. My aunt felt so sad and cried. Her eyes was filled with tears. Her nose and eyes were turning red. My relative comforted her saying, "she is in a better place now". She passed her a tissue.

As hours passed by, the room was crouded with relatives, church member, and friends. Then a wake service was starting. Everyone took a seat. We sung some hymn and prayed together. Then my aunt's  siblings came forward. They told how grandma was a fighter. And she created a recipe that became best sellers. They played a slideshow with grandma's picture.

Family members were asked to take some pictures beside the coffin. Then we lined up and thanked the visitors for coming. They said their condolence. Next everyone had some pastry, cakes and tea.

We went back home at midnight. Aunt's step bro sent us by car. By the time we shower and etc we slept at 1am.

Saturday, 30th May 2015, Aunt was informed that the service starts at 10:30am. We left the house at 8 something close to 9 in the morning. We took the same transport yesterday to the Scantuary. When we arrived the room was quite empty. This time we dint need to untie our shoes. We were told to put them on. We just took some pictures of grandma's coffin. The service was  late. Aunt was informed LAST MINUTE (11:00am) that the service starts at 11:30am. She got the blame cuz Aunt's bro asked her to call up grandma's church Pastor.

After some hymns and prayer, we headed straight to the Crematorium. Grandma requested to be cremated while she was still alive. We saw grandma for the last time and the people incharge closed the opening to view grandma. They screw the coffin. Grandma's children pushed the coffin out the room. My two aunt were bawling their eyes out. We arrived the place like a badass. There was a special van with siren that block the cars from moving. It gave way for us. We trailed the car that brought the coffin like a car train.

At the crematorium, the coffin was pushed and placed in the centre of the croud. We stood around it. We sung some hymn n prayed again. All of us took turns to decorate the coffin with flowers. Then we took pictures by family.

After lunch we part ways.

Sunday, 31st May 2015, we collected her cremated ashes.. Aunt couldnt bare to look at her skull.. 3 cars of family members on our way to granpa's grave... We cleared the weeds collected on the grave and clear the mud on the cement. We sung some hymn and prayed... Uncle dug a little hole... Then aunt help to pour grandma's ashes in it. Finally all of us we bury it together.

Till we meet again grandma <3

My Grandmother (06/05/1929 - 26/05/2015)

  On April 4th 2015, Saturday 9am I was the one who realized Grandma was in an odd position. She couldnt support herself. I tried to let her sit but she kept falling. I panicked and called my Aunt. My Aunt, younger brother and I tried to support my Grandmother but failed. We finally called for the Ambulance. Aunt accompanied my Grandmother in the hospital. She stayed overnight for a few days.

  The doctor told my aunt she got MAJOR STROKE on her left side and is then PARALYZED. Aunt was devastated. After a week she was discharged from the hospital. My Uncle admit Grandma in the old folk's home with so-called 'Special Care' treatment.

  On May 10th 2015, my Aunt flew all the way from Europe just to see Grandma. She was worried sick. Grandma was in agony from her bedsore. The wound was so big and red. It was unbearable. She kept on groaning in pain! The nurse dint bother to look into it.  As soon as my Aunt from Europe sees Grandma, she wailed in sadness. At the end of the day both my Aunts just realized it was Mother's day! It was a wonderful gift.

  On May 17th 2015, Sunday 9am - 1pm  before my Aunt left she kissed Grandma goodbye. But grandma refused to let go of Aunt's arm. Her grip was so strong.

  On Sunday 9am - 1pm (24/05/2015) my Aunt visited grandmother. She told me grandma refused to swallow her favorite kiwi fruit n carrot juice she loved so much (aunt has been feeding her each visit and normally grandma would finish it in a wink on an eye!) She let it spill from the side of her mouth. My aunt was very shocked as this has never happened before. Aunt questioned grandmother what is bothering her? She just kept her mouth sealed.

  On Tuesday 2pm (26/05/2015) Aunt got a call from her younger brother that grandma passed away. She got so shocked. Grandma's grip was still strong last two weeks ago. Her funeral will be held this Friday at 7:30pm to visit her remains (29/05/2015) and Saturday 10am to pay our last visit. Cause of death was unsure. But my Uncle (dad side) told us that she had a peaceful look on her face he had never seen before. I just wished my Uncle would ATLEAST take one last picture of her before the Undertaker took her body away.

  I can see the deep sadness my Aunt had in her eyes. When she spoke to me she was stuttering.

To be continued...

Inconsiderate Humans

I call upon death come unto me,
Far away it scattered and flee.
It left me going through
With all these painful wounds.
Treated like a scapegoat
Smothered from the throat.
Everything before me worsen day by day;
Leaving my bones slowly to decay.
I lay asleep ending the thoughts in my mind.
Haunted by my dreams I woke again time after time.
Insomnia repeatedly night after night;
The bags on my eyes aren't any light.

1000 Views

After many months of not updating, I hadn't realize that I had 1000 Views! And on the other hand I have 4k views on my account. Thank You for viewing this little blog of mine. I gained the small sense of existence. I appreciate it a lot from the bottom of my heart.

Collaboration Poem [Author : Izzat; Edited by Me]

  Throughout the days we walk with sorrow, fretting time like no tomorrow.

  Constantly our soul relieving sigh of regret, wishing time would end, just like that.

  Until the day we die tomorrow, all we do is regret not living in the fullest of our potential.

Happy Belated Birthday Jeanelle ^_^;;

It's been 1 year and 5 days since i've created this blog. Not much of a progress after entering National Service. Originally I created this blog for a poem called 'Within the Aching Soul' which ended up into a long (longer than Jeanelle's) and incomplete story. The genre is Science Fiction and Supernatural. It's about a Lonely Phantom who lost all his loved ones (created wayy before Jeanelle's story did). Did not manage to finish writing it within a year which was supposedly to be my goal last year. I got the inspiration from my dad. He fell sick and is now disable. I love him dearly but there is nothing I can do now. I can barely support myself and my other younger siblings with the little money I earn. I don't have high education to back me up either. Recently my grandmother is admitted in the hospital. She suddenly became half paralysed. I visited her last week. She grew very very weak. She could barely move or talk. She lost her sight and strength. All she does is nod and sign language with her right limb. I've gained many painful experience but no inspiration. Anyways, my life so far has come to a ruin and poverty. Managed to survive somehow. Those are the little details and update about me. There are many others that are less fortunate than I am. I just got continue to stay strong. But honestly, i'm just so sad inside.

I miss you

Whisper gently into my ear
I miss the tingle up my spine
Hold me close to you again
I yearn your warmth sublime
Embrace me like you've never did before
Darling I miss you so much.